My baby started school on Monday.
He walked out my door, Captain America backpack on, donning shiny new shoes, with his very own lunchbox in hand.
I tried to prepare for this day. But the truth is, I'm not sure if I'm ready for this chapter of my life.
The night before school started, my oldest said, "Mom, aren't you going to grab Camdon and cuddle with him on the couch and tell him you're not going to let him go, you're going to miss him too much. And that he's your baby and you don't want him to grow up? You know, like you've always done (and still do even though I'm in 8th grade) to the rest of us?"
I just smiled and looked at Camdon as he said, "What do you mean!? She's been doing that to me every night since I was 4!"
When I had little kids at home, surrounded by sippy cups and dirty diapers, I looked forward to this day. The day when all my kids were in school and i could do whatever I wanted. What would it be like, I wondered. Freedom!
Little did I know....
It would be lonely.
I would miss them.
I would miss having a buddy.
(Sadly, they don't seem to ever miss me back...)
I've managed to keep myself busy enough the last couple days that i don't have to think about how much I miss my little buddy.
The goal: to keep myself too busy to have a pity party. And, I've done pretty good.
Once the kids leave, I'm out the door.
Over to the church to play volleyball,
then straight to the gym.
Meet up with a friend and do lunch, run some errands
...and make it home just before the bus comes.
Repeat the next day.
Today, however, I decided to have that pity party.
No more McDonald's playland.
No more Bounce Jungle on Wednesdays.
No more preschool open gym Friday mornings.
No more splashpads, bribing of a snowcone after running errands as an excuse to get one myself, no more disney/pixar movies to watch in the middle of the afternoon.
I don't know if I'm ready to give these things up quite yet...
And after much reflecting, I realized, I have to come to terms with it, they're growing up!
I can't waste time feeling sad for what once was, there's no time for it.
I love this journey, and this is just part of it.
So, no more time for pity parties, there are many memories to be made and fun to be had.
Upward and onward we go!
(you'll have to pause the playlist on my blog to play this video :)
3 comments:
Anna! Your kids are so lucky to have for their mom! They all look so cute on their first day of school :]
I hear ya sister! I have a tug of war in my heart as school is starting...looking fwd to my time...but, missing them terribly!
And, since we will both have free time...let's get together! And, by the way,your kids are darling!!!
my mom and my little bro were some of the most funny people ever on his 1st day of kindergarten! they both didnt want her to leave! thank goodness it wont be a repeat! (right mom!)
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