Clarification

For my future posterity and a few friends with raised eyebrows, regarding my parenting choices.

I feel i need to clarify my earlier post about Carson being sent to the office and me swooping in to "save" him.

I am not a helicopter parent, flying in to rescue her children and the slightest sign of distress.

I am not a busy body.

I have learned the hard way, and at the expense of this child in particular, that I have to be his advocate. No else will do it. No one in this world knows my child better than me.

I made the mistake early on in his life of assuming his teachers' knew what was best and were always right.

I took their side every time over his.

He suffered tremendously because of it.

I was naive. My first child just melded right into society. He didn't stand out exceptionally one way or the other, a teacher's dream.

When this one came along and didn't go in the same direction as everyone else, he was noticed, and not in a good way.

His first teacher told him, literally told him, he was a very bad boy. He spent 90% of the day in trouble. He came home everyday with notes pinned on him listing all the things he did wrong during the day. To which i would take away privileges and send him to bed early.

I watched as this brilliantly talented and extremely happy child slowly faded away into an insecure, nervous wreck.

After a check up with my pediatrician, he noticed some differences in him as well. He asked him several questions regarding home, soccer, and...school. When that subject came up, he began pacing and frantically biting his nails.

The pediatrician had the nurse take my son out so we could talk in private.

It took my wise pediatrician getting involved, and the principal and school district taking action with the teacher for me to realize that it never should have come to that.

I am the mom.

I know my child.

I am his only advocate.

And, i had let him down.

I refuse to let society, the school, or bad teachers label him (or any of my children, for that matter) and convince him he is something he is not.

"Kids don't become what you think they can, they don't become what they think they can. They become what they think you think they can."

It took a couple of years to undo the self esteem damage but I think he and I are both better people for it. He already knows, perhaps even more than some adults, that his self-worth isn't based on what people think or how they treat him.

He's a good kid, with a kind heart.

And, a straight A student.

When he gets detention for not turning in his math homework, i don't get mad. That's his choice. If having detention bothers him enough, he'll do his homework. If it doesn't bother him, it doesn't bother me. He's a straight A student and works on math workbooks at home that are two grade levels above what he is learning at school just because he is curious and has a thirst for knowledge.

I'm sure his teacher thinks I'm not a very responsible parent for not taking action when he has detention and, I'm okay with that.

I know my son.

And so back to our story last week...

this son of mine, bless his heart, spends a fair share of his time in detention, at the principal's office, missing recess and fun friday and getting carbon copy papers that go into his permanent file sent home to be signed.

Most of which are ridiculous. We talk about them, sometimes have a good laugh about them, sign the papers and go on with life.

If my child gets in trouble for being disrespectful, belligerent, or mean, i wont tolerate it.

But, if my child is severely punished because he "he has done something during computer lab that not even the district can figure out and therefor might be a threat for hacking into the school's computer system" or "catches frogs at recess" or "has a bean dipping war with his friends at lunch", or my personal favorite, "is a threat to the President of the United States", I don't take it too seriously.

In fact, I might just decide to take him out for ice cream. :)